Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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