I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
did you just send me my own nude
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
And then he peed in my hair
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