we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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