wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
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Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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