Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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