so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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