I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
