big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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