Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
