at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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