Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
