put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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