i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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