Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
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Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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