this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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