There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
