Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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