love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
