Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize