I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
