On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
