So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Success! We fucked roommates!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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