Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
