I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
