this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
