his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i think i just lost a toe
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