Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
