can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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