I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
