Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
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