the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize