First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize