This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
