Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
