I'm drive I can fine osifer
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
