Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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