Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
