Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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