I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
