Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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