So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
