Kiss
Puke
You just made me feel so damn special
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
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