Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
