So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
