Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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