I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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