You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
