Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
