we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
