i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
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Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
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Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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