My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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