Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
