Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Ladies don't puke and tell
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
