Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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