i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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